I work with the teenage girls in the youth group at my church. Using Mormon lingo, I have been called to serve as the Mia Maid leader in my ward. This means that I am part of the Young Women Presidency (a President, 2 counselors, and a secretary) which oversees Sunday lessons and mid week activities for the girls in our congregation ages 12-18. The Mia Maids are 14 and 15 years old so I focus on activities and lessons specifically for them but often we join together and do something as all young women and at least once a month we join together for an activity with all youth, boys and girls, ages 12-18.
Over the past month, as a young women presidency, we have been focusing on how to best present a lesson on body image to the girls. It isn't in the manual. There have been several lessons lately about caring for our bodies: keeping them healthy, staying away from drugs and alcohol, things like that. This was uncharted ground but we really felt a need to get down to the nitty and gritty. We wanted each girl to know how much we loved them, how much God loves them, and how beautiful they really are. We spent hours talking about how to present the lesson. There were emails back and forth with links and ideas and it kept getting bigger and bigger. Should we have guest speakers? should we have their mothers comment? would they listen to us? how much time could we really take?
We realized that most importantly we wanted them to know that WE understood body image issues, and we wanted them to know that nothing is taboo when it came to talking about self esteem and loving yourself. If they had a question, a problem, or a friend with a problem, or they were just curious, they could come and talk to us about it.
So I have been thinking a lot this past month about how I view my own body, my own looks, how I measure up. When did I start to notice and care about my body? Who has influenced how I see myself? Who do I allow to influence my thoughts?
It is getting late and my thoughts will begin to ramble, but I am thankful for the opportunities I have had to see my body as more than just an image. I am a vessel of life. I am a mother. My body takes me places where I met amazing people. I had to walk and walk and walk as a missionary in my early 20s. My body got me to those places. My hands can make food and clothing. My mind can think (except when I am too tired). My voice--it is not the greatest--but I LOVE to sing! My mouth really likes kissing--husband kisses and baby kisses too. But I also love smiling. Smiling can change a day around, for me and for those I give a smile to. My body can heal. I had surgery to remove my thyroid--and my body is healing itself.
I used to be self conscious. I did not want any attention because I feared it would be bad. I did not speak my mind. I did not like my hair. I did not like my voice. I decided I was not beautiful and called myself average. I thought that make-up and hairstyles cost too much money and time and that neither was worth it for me. And I got on with my life. My husband called me beautiful, and eventually I believed him. My friends called me wonderful and eventually I believed them. My daughters called me mommy and I was.
I don't worry so much about how I look now a days. Yes, I wish I was thinner. Yes, I have bad hair days. But I surround myself with me and the things that make me happy, instead of what the world tells me I should be.
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